"something's gotta give"

"You've gotta learn how to fall before you can fly."

After watching that movie, I've come to realize why I hate love stories. (Rather, I secretly like watching such but it would kill me to admit that.) They remind me too much of what I'm missing out. Like, seriously, you relate to one or the other major character and you're sucked right into the two-hour love story of your life. And when that's done or when you take a two-minute break to grab some chow, you come to terms with reality and that reality is not the movie. We know I'm just beating around the bush… in a nutshell, I'm not inlove (I might be wishing I am) and I envy the characters in the movie.

That's one tough confession there.

I like to think I've been in love. Truly, madly, deeply in love. Oh you wouldn't believe the misery I went through. Then I got my heart broken and I got even more miserable. Worse things have happened since then, but there's nothing quite like it. It would be crazy to say it's something I'd go through again but then where's the fun in life if everything's safe?

It took me years (no kidding) to get over that heart break. Sometime during that "getting over" stage, another one managed to sneak into my system. Another "truly, madly, deeply". But this time perhaps it wasn't too madly, not too deeply. I got my heart broken again, OF COURSE, but this time, it wasn't so bad. I got over it pretty quick. Too quick, I'd say. Kinda sad to have to let go of an experience when you haven't really had enough of it. I'm feeling poignant about it just now.

Sigh…

And then, and then, I sorta figured out how it works, how someone "sneaks in" into my system (I caught on pretty fast). It's a blessing and a curse because now I know how to fast-track the "getting him out of my system" part. Yep, I go straight to that knowing I can't afford to fall in love. Sounds clinical, doesn't it? IT SUCKS. I compare it to reading Sidney Sheldon or Danielle Steel. Same plot, different details, good stories though. But I hate predictable stories! Like Sheldon. I don't read his books anymore because even before I'm halfway through the story, I already know who's the killer. Then I'd have to fool myself into thinking it's this other guy or that but at the back of my mind I know my first hunch was right and the ending just confirms it.

So, I hate love stories.

26dec04 0440a


PS: to be edited... and hopefully published elsewhere. hehe